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Tell Your Face

Stress has a way of affecting you internally but also externally.  When you lose your joy; it's time to reset and to find life balance.  Working full time, living in a blended family, and dealing with the drama/effects of being a survivor of generational addiction can cause something to fall short.  My self care, self esteem, and self confidence all suffered during this season.  Where are you out of balance?  How are you dealing with stress?

Several years ago, I was in my office working and a colleague came to the doorway of my office and just stood there.  He used the doorframe to scratch his back.  As he sipped on his cup of coffee, he was looking intently at me while I was working.  Feeling some discomfort at him staring at me while I worked; I looked up to acknowledge him.  He made small talk and then he said something that I will never forget.  He asked me, “are you happy?”  I said, “excuse me?”  He said, “are you happy?”  I said, “yes.”  He said, “Tell your face.”

Tell your face?  Who says that?  It really bothered me that he said that, when he had no idea what I was going through.  I would come to work everyday and do the things.  I would participate in the usual conversing: How are you; I am fine.  How was your weekend; Good, how was yours?  At that point in time, I felt no one really cared about how I was or how was my weekend!  There was so much going on in my life that I poured all of my energy into my work.  I overcompensated all of life’s chaos into top notch customer service and creating efficient processes.  I never realized how the weight of the stress that I was carrying was apparent in my facial expressions.  I truly was happy; I just had a lot on my plate and I was feeling insecure.  I did not feel I had anyone that could possibly understand the stress I was carrying.

As I look back, I appreciate the honesty of my colleague who just said what needed to be said.  I was dealing with common problems of a blended family and the affects of extended family generational addiction.  I was tired, felt less than, and not respected, and honestly; I felt unappreciated.  I was juggling and keeping everything together; except myself.  He had no idea what was going on in my life and had he asked, I don’t think I would have shared anyway.  It just wasn’t the right setting.  I was bothered that he saw me frowning and not smiling.  When did I lose my joy?

I researched and found conflicting information in regards to how many muscles it takes to frown versus smile; so, I will just summarize and share that it takes less muscles to smile than it does to frown.  Today are you frowning or smiling?

My hope is that you never lose your joy.

Have you ever felt like you were juggling and keeping everything together but lost yourself in the process?  Let’s connect.  To join a supportive community email [email protected] and type COMMUNITY in the subject.

😊Keep smiling,

Kelle Cathey